What do you complain about the most?
To put it simply, I’m not one to complain. Don’t take me wrong, I disagree with a lot of things in the world. I also get frustrated when I see something foolish, or angry with injustice. But I feel that complaining is more counterproductive than tackling the cause of the problem. This isn’t always easy, I give you that. Besides, many things are completely out of our control. Despite all our best efforts, we can’t change them, even some things within ourselves. The challenge is to know the difference. I think you know where I am going with this. Yes, I am thinking about The Serenity Prayer.
I first encountered it on a post-it note. It was on a coworker’s desk a couple of decades ago. After that I heard it being recited in several movies and then I learned it was used by twelve-steps programs. Its roots go way back in history, though. Probably the stoic philosopher Epictetus was the first one to formulate its basic idea in the first century. This is the modern version:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”
The Serenity Prayer
The serenity
The beauty of it is that it teaches you to accept the things you can’t change. They are simply out of your control. The secret is, you should not go on complaining about them. These include what others do, what they think about you, and even some of your own thoughts, desires or compulsions.
The courage
Now, there are the things you can change, the ones you can do something about. There’s no point in complaining about those too. Those include your decisions, the things, people or places you can welcome into your life or can avoid. Focusing on those you can actually work on creating habits that help you on achieving your goals.
The wisdom
Now, this is the interesting part. If you learn how to differentiate those, you can achieve that point where you can conquer yourself. It will take time, and you will probably fail along the way. But with perseverance and support it can be achieved.
Let’s just practice the serenity prayer and ask for the wisdom to know the difference!