Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
I think I can say with confidence that I already passed through my midlife crisis. Hopefully I will not have another one, or God forbid, a rebound.
Forty or Forty-five?
One day, many years ago, I was in therapy talking with my psychologist.
“I’m worried about the future. I’m going to be 40 years old soon, and I know that it’s a somewhat challenging transition.”
That would mark the end of the often recognized phase of early adulthood, which lasts from 18 to 40 years. Some of its most distinguished characteristics are career-building, strengthening relationships, possible parenthood, and increasing independence.
“Wait,” she said to me, “how old are you again?”
“I am 36 years old,” I answered, still not realizing what she was hinting at.
“You are still four years away from being 40, and you are already worried?” she needed to make it crystal clear to me.
In an instant it dawned on me that I was really getting worried too soon, and maybe for nothing. We discussed about how these thresholds were more guidelines than fixed milestones. For each person that would feel differently. Indeed, nothing special happened when I became 40. But definitely a big change came five years later, when I became 45: among other things, I moved to Canada.
Moving countries
Of course, it was hard moving countries. At the risk of stating the obvious, everything is different: the culture, the language, the weather. Ah, the weather! Must be remembered, I was coming from the summer of a tropical country to the winter of an Arctic one. When I first landed in Toronto, it was -13 °C. After leaving the airplane and inhaling the cold air, I honestly thought that it would freeze my lungs. It was the year of a very strong polar vortex, it had snowed heavily for the past few days. I had three heavy pieces of luggage with me as I was trying to navigate the snow-covered streets. I strongly second-guessed my decisions then.
Human touch
What was more difficult though, was leaving friends, family and even colleagues behind. It was so hard to say goodbye. We had several send-offs, what actually helped. We felt so loved by everyone. It was only after coming to Canada that I realized that we knew very few people here. To make things worse, the pandemic hit the year after we moved, making it extremely difficult to meet new people. Now, after many years, we have finally made many good friends. Thanks goodness, this is all in the past now.
It’s hard navigating a midlife crisis, I know. For those who have not yet passed through it, I can just say, hang on, it will pass. As everything in life.
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