Tia Sara, a eulogy

Mine is a big family. On the side of my dad there were eight siblings, and on my mom’s six. When you include their partners, I had roughly 28 uncles and aunts. I think I had around 45 cousins, maybe more. Over the decades, I’ve seen new members being added. This often happens mainly through Facebook posts. We stay connected this way because we are all scattered around the world. I see beautiful babies with round faces and contagious laughs. But ever so often I also see loved members departing. It’s never easy, even being physically far from them, the memories come rushing in when we lose someone we love. Yesterday was the turn of my dear aunt, Tia Sara.

Memories in an aquarium

When I was a child my mom and dad used to visit Tia Sara and Tio Dario quite often. I loved those moments. They lived no more than one kilometer, or half a mile, apart from us. She had in her living room an aquarium in one or two giant round wine bottles, pretty much my size. That fascinated me. I didn’t understand how those fishes got in there, because while the bottle was huge, the bottleneck was quite narrow. There were aquatic plants in the water and tiny fishes that lived inside of it. I asked what they ate, and she told me they munched the leaves and roots of the plants. I never saw something quite like that before or after, in another house. She was very wise in my eyes for pulling out to have an entire self-sustaining microcosm inside a bottle.

Candy for us children

The first thing that she asked every time we entered their home was if we wanted some candy. She had those stashed in beautiful rustic glass jars. I must confess I went there already thinking of them. One day it was some hard candy, the other it was cookies. By tea time, there was fresh bolo de fubá. It is a staple from Minas Gerais, the place where my dad’s family came from, including her. More than the sweets itself, the attention and care that she bestowed on us made us feel important.

Playing in the backyard

Often I got tired of listening to the adult conversation they were having. Then, I used to go with my brother to the backyard where there was a small tree. We used to play under it sitting on the grass. It was like an oasis in the middle of a busy city like São Paulo. The feeling of freedom was absolute. I felt secure and felt loved there.

After those years, life happened. I went to live far from them, contact hasn’t been so frequent. But I still keep her with love in my heart. And I see the family that she built thriving through the Facebook and Instagram posts.

I keep all the good memories of those visits. It was a time where I still retained my innocence. Those were my formative years, and I feel blessed to have influences like Tia Sara in my life.