Family is where the heart is

Describe a family member.

Family seems to be that sort of thing everyone knows what is. Still, people don’t know very well how to define it. A widely accepted definition is that family is where the heart is.

Understanding of what it is has differed from culture to culture and from time to time. This is shown by the sheer number of adjectives that we now try to attach to the term. We do this so that we can explain it better. When we think of its members, we come to categories like nuclear family, conjugal family, and single-parent family. Other categories are matrifocal family, multi-generational family, and extended family. We also have blended family, surrogate family, and family of choice. Further categories include found family, monogamous family, polygamous family, and polyamory family, etc. There is simply no such thing as a one-size-fits-all when we come to it. I think we should try to define a family by its function. We would be better off than defining it by what should constitute its members.

This definition of family resonates with me:

“family as haven … a place of intimacy, love and trust where individuals may escape the competition of dehumanizing forces in modern society”.

Zinn, Maxine Baca; Eitzen, D. Stanley (2002). Diversity in families (6 ed.). Allyn and Bacon. p. 557.

Under this concept, can’t we think of family as that place where we feel loved? Isn’t it a place where we feel comfortable to be just the way we are? Where we can just express ourselves without fear of being ridiculed? It is sanctuary, a haven, an escape from the cruelty of a heartless world. Everyone needs a refuge like this, otherwise we all will crumble to pieces. Even if governments or laws don’t recognize such an arrangement, we know where our real family is. We know who its members are.

I know that reality is not always as we expect. But, I wish that each one of us can build a place where our family can thrive. Our loved ones and their members should flourish there.

Do you agree that family is where the heart is? What is family to you?


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4 Responses to “Family is where the heart is”

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